'SNL' mocks Kristi Noem's firing in cold open – 'I self-deported'

Brendan Morrow, USA TODAY Sun, March 8, 2026 at 6:15 AM UTC

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"Saturday Night Live" is saying farewell to Kristi Noem.

The show opened its March 7 episode with a sketch addressing President Donald Trump's firing of Noem as Department of Homeland Security secretary.

In the sketch, Colin Jost played Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth, who announced during the mock press briefing that Noem "has been reassigned under the bus." Ashley Padilla starred as Noem, who then entered to give some parting remarks.

"I just want to make it clear that I didn't get fired," she said. "I self-deported. And though I may be leaving this job, I will not be ending my mission. As I told my plastic surgeon, the work is never done. But I gave my all to the DHS, and I have no regrets, because like they say, you miss 100% of the dogs you don't shoot."

Surprise! Harry Styles makes surprise appearance on 'SNL' with Ryan Gosling

Trump announced in a Truth Social post on March 5 that Republican Sen. Markwayne Mullin of Oklahoma will succeed Noem as Homeland Security secretary, effective March 31. The move came after lawmakers grilled Noem on a number of topics, including a $220 million ad campaign that prominently featured her. Noem said she had discussed the campaign with Trump and he approved it, but Trump told Reuters he "never knew anything about it."

In the cold open, Padilla's Noem also said that it's "bittersweet" to have to turn in her "badge, gun, lips, lashes, teeth and forehead," adding that her new office will be in a "WeWork space outside of Denver."

The rest of the opening sketch featured Jost as Hegseth taking questions about the U.S. military operation in Iran.

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"We're treating Iran like the breathalyzer in my car and blowing it the hell up," he declared.

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Ashley Padilla as Kristi Noem on "Saturday Night Live" on Jan. 17, 2026.

Jost's Hegseth later took issue with a reporter describing the conflict as a war, asking, "Who ever called this a war, except maybe the president a couple of times accidentally?"

"Project Hail Mary" star Ryan Gosling hosted, returning to "SNL" for the fourth time with musical guest Gorillaz.

1 / 0From 'The Notebook' to 'Barbie,' see Ryan Gosling's iconic roles and career in photos

The Academy Award winning actor Ryan Gosling first catapulted to fame after appearing in the 2004 romantic drama "The Notebook" alongside Rachel McAdams. The star continues to act in iconic roles and films and will soon star in "Project Hail Mary" and "Star Wars: Starfighter."Here, Gosling attends the premiere of "The Fall Guy" at the Dolby Theatre in Hollywood on April 30, 2024.

Who's hosting 'SNL' next?

"SNL" will be back with another new episode next week, hosted by Harry Styles. The singer, fresh off his new album “Kiss All the Time. Disco, Occasionally," is also serving as the musical guest.

Ahead of his episode, Styles made a surprise appearance in the audience during Gosling's monologue, in which the "Barbie" actor jokingly acted like he was thrown off and distracted by the Grammy winner's presence.

Contributing: Bart Jansen

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: 'SNL' cold open tackles Trump firing of Kristi Noem

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